You probably don’t want to read this. This blog entry is going to be about poop, and lets face it, it’s a crappy topic.
One of the surprises that I encountered when I started this diet was how little I pooped. The shear fecal mass decreased by almost 70% immediately. If you think about it it kinda makes sense. Dieting in its essence, is depriving your body of energy. When your body gets less energy out of the food you eat, naturally it will try to extract more out the food you do eat.
About a month or two into my diet I got my second dung related surprise. It came in the form of violent diarrhea. One day while I was at work, completely out the blue, my stomach began to cramp. I felt a warm flash and then I ran. I ran as fast as I could and narrowly escaped humiliation. Outside of one rather miserable flu experience, I had never experienced anything quite like this. I am sure that you don’t want me to elaborate. That day I made frequent pilgrimages, and ended the day sore. The odd thing is, this depressing fate continued for days. After a while I became really concerned, I began to wonder if I had been poisoned or picked up a nasty parasite. Four or five days into this, it ceased, and I didn’t have a movement for a couple days.
I am a man who likes to have a schedule for certain aspects of my life. Defecating is one of these events. For the better part of my life, coffee was all I needed to keep me ‘regular.’ I don’t really control a whole lot in my life, but dropping a deuce on my own terms gives me some bizarre satisfaction. This is exactly why experiencing constipation for the first time drove me nuts. A few months ago I ran out of oat bran, I had eaten oat bran on a daily basis religiously, as directed. I figured what the heck, I can skip a few days until I go grocery shopping again. To my surprise the very day I stopped eating oat bran, I stopped pooping. After two days of no action I began drinking a lot of coffee. I got the cramps but the drain was still clogged. This continued for 4-5 days, I actually had to start eating oat bran again to regulate my bowels. I have noticed that the bran seems to help more when you string together a few protein-only days. If I were to skip on a day when I eat a lot of vegetables there is minimal effect.
I have had a few bouts of multi-day diarrhea. I noticed that they almost always happen when I am on back-to-back protein days. I don’t really understand this, and I am not sure of it’s even related. I am pretty apprehensive to take any drugs (like Imodium) because I am afraid of over-compensating and ending up constipated again. My wife asked me ‘why would I put yourself through this, is it really worth it?’, to be perfectly honest there are times that I can’t answer that question. When all is said and done, I am stubborn, I want to beat this thing. I want to show the world (and myself) that I can see this through to the end, I want to reach my goal.